So You Want To Submit An Album For Review?

(Last updated May 23, 2006 -- updates in italics) In between whimsically and/or sarcastically rewriting press releases from children's music artists, I also review albums in a mostly eager manner. You might wonder how, as an international superagent, I find the time to review these CDs -- OK, I'm not really an international superagent, but I am a father of two, and international superagents have nothing on parents -- and the answer is, I'm not sure. I just know that I like listening to good kids' music and telling others about it. I have already received a few albums from artists seeking a review from this site, and I figure it's time for me to actually outline the Official Zooglobble Album Review Policy. (This was pre-NPR -- strike "a few," insert "lots and lots of".) I'm going to call it "OZARP" just so I can do web searches for "OZARP" in a few days and see what turns up. There are just two rules in the OZARP, though I've added some additional guidance. #1 -- All albums submitted for review shall include complete artwork and an ISBN (barcode). Basically, I want to review the CD as the actual end user will receive it, and with proof that somebody out there could conceivably buy it. So please, no CD-Rs, no CDs without the case and any inserts. Two modifications based on a whole bunch of experience now... 1. CD-Rs sold at CDBaby are A-OK. I understand better now some of the economics of producing a CD and understand that some people may not have the upfront cash to do a fancy pressing. Like I said, if it's sold through CDBaby, it's fine by me. 2. Advance promotional copies (CD-R or otherwise) of albums yet-to-be-released are also OK. I like receiving lyrics/liner notes along with the promo CD, too, though that can be electronically. And I still prefer to see the finished product (even if I've already received the promo copy) -- I do find the physical product to be important to how the end user interacts with the music. Beyond that, I would encourage artists who are considering submitting their album(s) for review consider the preferences, attitudes, and biases already reflected in the ever-increasing list of reviews on the site. I've never made any pretense to be a music educator trying to find the "perfect" or most developmentally appropriate CD for a child -- I'm a parent with two young kids (though, as They Might Be Giants would note, every moment they're getting older) and I love music. And while I don't entirely disagree with Barney Gumble's approach to life ("I'm not a picky man, Homer. Braaaaaah."), there are going to be certain CDs I probably won't like. Additional promotional materials are not required with the CD, though I'll look at whatever else you send. It almost goes without saying these days, but a website link is especially helpful. If it's a yet-to-be-released album, a scheduled release date is also helpful. #2 -- Quotations of two sentences or less on artists' websites or other promotional materials or by other websites/magazines do not require permission from the site owner. Quotations longer than two sentences, or any quotations attached to products actually sold to others, require express permission from the site owner. OK, I realize the very last part of #2 is not common, but I know that artists will quote reviews on websites, promotional materials, and even on CD wrappers/covers. I'm just covering myself in the event that somebody wants to quote me on the latter. I'm not expecting a lot of letters from that provision. Other than that, I'll try to notify you shortly before or after I post a review of an album you've submitted. We always appreciate links to the review or the website generally, but no links are required. Please don't ask me when a review of the album you submitted will be up -- I'm a busy, busy man. The order in which I review CDs on the site is a complicated and patented algorithm that involves how much I like the CD, how long it's been since I last reviewed an album of yours, and whether you employed a penny whistle on your CD -- in other words, it all depends. Rest assured that if I really like your CD, I'll want to tell people about it sooner rather than later, "sooner" and "later" being relative terms around here. If you do e-mail me asking about the status of a CD review (e.g., because you want to make sure I actually received the CD(s), and I totally understand that), you'll probably get a pleasant e-mail saying I haven't made up my mind yet, regardless of whether I've got a pretty good idea that I'm reviewing it next week or never. Rest assured, however, that I do, as promised, listen to every CD I get multiple times before I decide whether to review it. I know you've put a lot of effort into producing it, and I respect that. So that's it. Pretty simple, I think. If you are a children's music artist, PR person, or assorted hanger-on, and you're interested, use that link in the upper-right-hand corner to contact me and we'll go on from there (e.g., I'll send you my mailing address).

My Approach to Kids' Music

This blog grew out of a series of articles I wrote for my wife's parenting group newsletter. I enjoy listening to (and playing) music, I have an opinion about a lot of music, and -- most importantly for a newsletter author or blogger -- am fool enough to want to write about it. That was all that necessary to spend a page or two rambling on about kids' music. (Much of this entry is from my first newsletter article.) We own maybe a couple dozen hundred children's CDs and have listened to maybe a dozen fifty more (though both figures are slowly growing). Our daughter is now about 3 1/2 5 1/2 years old and is only now expressing her musical preferences. Of course we want our daughter to listen to music she enjoys, that makes her happy. [Ed.: Things change in a couple years, don't they?] But since you, the parent, will listen to the CDs and tapes almost every time your kids do, I think your (and my) opinion counts nearly as much as the child's. And you're still going to be able to offer your kids new, good stuff, so it's not like you're stuck listening to that [insert name of CD that makes you twitch just thinking about it.] In this blog I'll write about a number of different CDs, spending more time on the good stuff than the bad for two reasons: 1) I'm not nearly catty enough to write enjoyable reviews about bad music, and 2) I want to focus on the good stuff. I should probably explain my beliefs about children's music (for advice on music for the post-toddler set, click here): 1) Good kids' music is enjoyable for adults, too: I think the best kids' music can be enjoyed by kids and parents alike. This is true not only critically -- like Bugs Bunny cartoons, great kids music appeals to multiple generations -- but also practically. If you don't like a kids' CD, you are unlikely to play that CD very often, which probably means your child won't become a fan of it, either. (Or, alternately -- and sadly -- you'll be stuck listening to a painful CD over and over as your child wants to hear the same song over and over and Over and OVER!) In the end, "family music" is probably a better phrase than "kids' music," but sounds sort of dorky and plus Borders and Barnes & Nobles across the country would need to relabel their sections, so I think we're stuck with "kids'" or "children's" music. 2) Not all good adults' music is enjoyable (or even suitable) for kids: I don't think my daughter would like my Nirvana's "Nevermind" CD; even if she did, I wouldn't want her to listen to it for a few years. (Even if I really like the CD, which I do.) No, good kids' music is generally simpler melodically, lyrically, and rhythmically, plus you can usually understand what's being sung. (Clear enunciation was never Kurt Cobain's strong point musically.) Now please don't think I'm saying you should never play "your" music around your kids. You need to play music for yourself, and as I've noted above, some music really is for the entire family. But if you think that your 2-year-old is getting something out of listening to Tool, I think you're wrong. 3) Did I say simple was good?: I've heard CDs which seemed to have been produced by some guy in his basement with a Casio synthesizer with his cousin singing over-emoted versions of simple folk songs. If the song was sung quietly by moms to kids with no accompaniment 100 years ago, it's unlikely a cheesy synthesizer with faux strings will somehow add a layer of meaning or emotion. It's OK to have multiple instruments, but at least make sure they're real. 4) Who are you anyway?: OK, we're at silly, yet oddly accurate, predictors of a CD's quality. (Sort of like all those methods for predicting unborn babies' gender.) The best albums have the participants' names plastered all over the CD, just like "adult" music. I've never listened to a good album in which I didn't know exactly who was responsible. It's as if makers of bad CDs are embarrassed by what they've produced. If you can't see who's singing or playing on the CD, move away. 5) No "Stairway to Heaven": Do you want to listen to 4 minutes of "Old MacDonald Had A Farm"? ("And on this farm he had an ocelot...") I didn't think so. Kids don't have long attention spans, and most classic kids songs don't have much more than 60 seconds of material. So my basic rule is that kids' CDs shouldn't average much more than 2 minutes per song. This rule can be bent for CDs targeted at older kids, whose attention spans are (hopefully) longer, and for lullaby CDs. Finally, I think you should know my personal musical preferences so if they closely match (or are opposed to) yours, you can take that into account in evaluating my recommendations. I particularly enjoy the following artists, among others: Wilco, the Jayhawks, Spoon, REM, They Might Be Giants, Matthew Sweet, U2, Lyle Lovett, Kelly Willis, Patty Griffin, Miles Davis and most classical chamber music. [Ed.: This list is about 5 years old -- see an updated list here.] So there you have it -- my children's music philosophy in a nutshell. I hope you'll visit in the weeks and months to come as review children's music CDs and post some news on childrens' music.

Welcome!

Welcome to Zooglobble! It's my hope that this blog/website will become a reference site for great kids' music that parents can enjoy as well. If you like Ralph's World, Laurie Berkner, Elizabeth Mitchell, and Justin Roberts, among others, stop by on a regular basis for news, reviews, and goodness knows what else. It might take some time, but we'll build this up to something worth your time. Thanks in advance for your time and patience.